Bed & Breakfast

Journal entry written 3/6/11


Well! Where to begin?? I am writing right now from room #430 at the Altru Hospital -- or the "Bed & Breakfast", as I like to call it. :) Let me 'splain.

At our ultrasound where we received the news about our 2 GIRLS, they noticed that there wasn't a "divider" or membrane between the babies. I didn't think anything of this -- I just thought that some twins were like that. Well it turns out that it is extremely rare. I guess these little girls are extra special.

With this special pregnancy, there is a special risk. Because the girls share the same placenta and the same amniotic sac, there is a risk of cord entanglement, which could potentially cut off the blood supply for one or both babies. So that's why I am in the Bed & Breakfast. We do an ultrasound each morning, and then the girls' heart beats are monitored for 1 hour, 3 times per day.

I am able to get up and move around as needed, so it's not strict bed rest or anything (thank heavens!), but I do have to be careful. I will be staying here until our little princesses make their debut -- hopefully somewhere between 32-34 weeks gestation if everything continues to go well. I am 25 weeks, 4 days right now, so we'll be hanging out for a bit. :)

This experience has been (already) a major growing one -- spiritually as well as physically :). Being away from my sweet family has been a huge reminder of how much I adore them. I have had a lot of time to reflect upon my relationship with Chris, especially. I am absolutely crazy about that guy. I really don't know enough words to describe the way I feel about him. He is perfect for me. He is truly a noble man and I am honored to get to be by his side in this life and through eternity. These girls are beyond lucky to have him as an example of what to look for in a husband.

Brayden was my biggest concern about checking in. He is my little buddy and we are together all day, every day. I was really worried about how he would handle everything. Chris was actually in New York City for a Moot Court competition when they told me I needed to check in, so it was really hard. Luckily, Chris's brother Rob was able to drive up from Valley City and stay with Brayden for a couple of days. I don't know how we could have done it without him.

The evening before I had to check in (I received the news just that afternoon), I decided that Brayden and I needed to have some fun. I took him to the Dollar Store -- because he always asks to go in there, and I never want to. I had been very emotional in the car, and Brayden was very concerned. As soon as we walked into the store, he pointed to a yellow smiley face balloon and said, "we get this balloon because we're happy??" I love this boy's heart.

After the dollar store, we went to Target and I let Brayden pick out 2 babies to take care of. He chose 2 of the exact same baby (there were plenty to choose from, too)!

That evening, we had pizza together and had a mini-party, just the 2 of us. Every time I got sad (which happened a lot), Brayden would grab the smiley face balloon and say, "But we're happy!"

I must say it was pretty strange to walk around the apartment and know that I wouldn't be back there until after the babies were born. It was really hard. Strangely enough, though, I believe with all of my heart that I was being prepared to leave way before I knew it would be happening. For at least a month prior to receiving the news, I was in the mode of getting things ready for the babies to come. We got Brayden a new bed, I went through and organized all of the closets, I deep-cleaned...all of the things I had expected to do much closer to the girls' arrival. I firmly believe that Heavenly Father and the Holy Ghost were preparing me. It is amazing how -- whether we realize it or not -- our Heavenly Father meets our needs (in this case, before they were even needs!).

This experience has already been a major testimony and faith builder for me. The fact that these girls could have to be taken at any moment should be terrifying. But I have learned to trust that they are in Heavenly Father's care, and that He will determine when it is time for them to come. This has allowed me to let go of control and learn to just trust. The right thing will happen. We will be okay.