Day 12 - Brayden is my Prozac...minus the side effects

6.24.09

So...I haven't done a great job at posting daily like I hoped to. So solly!

Today was a "blah" day for the first half and then it got much better for the second half. I had a mini breakdown this morning...just a combination of emotions came together at once and it wasn't pretty. The floods (from my eyes!) came while I was feeding Brayden his breakfast, and Brayden was so sweet. He put his hand on my cheek and pulled my face down to his so that our cheeks were touching, and then made these singing noises. It was just what I needed to cheer up. I cried some more but those were happy tears.

This afternoon Brayden and I got some much needed one-on-one time. Everyone else went out to see Transformers (which they said was AWESOME and I can't wait to see it!) and the B and I stayed here so he could nap and I could work. When he woke up we ate some pasta together and just had some quality bonding time. It was the first time in quite a while that we've had that, with the craziness leading up to the move, then the actual move, and now being here we always have other people around. I didn't realize how much I missed having that time with just "Brayden and Mommy." Poor kid. It felt so good to just snuggle him and tickle and play hide and seek and hear him laugh. I'm looking forward to having our life back to normal so that we can have that one-on-one time consistently again. I love that boy so much. My heart must have grown back after Chris stole it because Brayden has it too.

(Taken on our CA trip...this is not North Dakota.)

Day 7 - Social Life

6.19.09

Today marks one week from when we left Utah. Unbelievable. I look back on this week and it just feels like a dream. It's been a good week overall and I look forward to what the next weeks will bring.

Chris got a voicemail message today from the owner of the storage unit we're storing all of our stuff in, saying, "Hi Chris, please give me a call as soon as possible." NOT a good message to be hearing from where our belongings are stored. Chris tried calling back but didn't get an answer. We're thinking (and hoping) they're just worried about rain getting in; I really really hope it wasn't broken into. I'll definitely post an update when I have one (hopefully soon!)

Tonight our social activity was a few rounds of Yatzee with Jaci. We had a blast. Somewhere Brayden learned how to shake and roll dice...it was hilarious.

Happy Friday, everyone!

Day 6 - Letting Loose

6.18.09

I can't believe we've been here almost a week already! A week ago this moment I was cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I am so glad to have that behind me but I do miss my friends and my family; especially my sister Dana. Before I left we took an afternoon and went to Lagoon (amusement park) - just the two of us. We had a blast. I'll post some pictures soon. It was so much fun to just let go of all of the stress, even just for a few hours and laugh my guts out on the roller coasters. Yeah, that's what I said. I don't scream - I laugh. Hard. I'm so glad we took the time to do that; that Lagoon trip will be one of my favorite memories for a loooooong time. Love you, Dana.

In the same "letting loose" vein, this country life is giving me a lot of opportunities to let loose and not be so uptight.

Lame transition, I know...But it's late and I'm too lazy to think of a better way to do it. If you don't like it just go away. Haha

I've been walking around with muddy paw prints on my white shirt; caught a toad (but wasn't holding it right so it jumped out of my hands and landed on its back and I thought I killed that animal too, haha! Fortunately for both of us it survived and hopped happily away); fixed a bike chain, and snuggled wet, muddy dogs.

And I've loved every minute of it. Except the wet dogs made my hands stinky for a while.

I feel like I'm learning a lot about who I am...and who I want to be. The slower pace of life here on the ranch has allowed me to really step back and look at where I am and the kind of person I'm becoming. I'm realizing how nice it is to focus on becoming instead of always worrying about doing, if that makes any sense. I have a lot I want to work on but I am very happy. I read a great quote from Russell M. Nelson on my aunt Sara's blog tonight:

"Feelings of worth come when a woman follows the example of the Master. Her sense of infinite worth comes from her own Christlike yearning to reach out with love, as He does."

That's just a piece of a whole lot of great wisdom; go read her post for the rest...
you won't regret it!

I'm so grateful to have the example of our Savior and for the assurance that comes from following Him. During these unsteady times I am at ease and I know it is because I have something steady to cling to. I feel blessed to have this opportunity to grow and I plan to take full advantage of it.

Here's to day 6!

Day 4 - Life on a Ranch

6.16.09

I had a bad day. The puppy I mentioned in my last post is no more, thanks to me. We were pulling out to return the U-Haul and she ran under the car. It was awful.

This tragically sad event didn't get quite the reaction from everyone I expected. Jaci's dad rode up shortly after it happened. As I was crying...hard...he said, "Try not to take it too hard; that's life on a ranch!" and rode away. Next, Rob said, "You probably did them (the neighbors) a favor." Chris said I'm like Porter Rockwell; that I do the Lord's bidding, and has called me the Angel of Death multiple times...and Jaci just laughed.

A little neighbor boy was here at the house playing with Skye and Kade and said, "That puppy was a biter. Is that why you killed her?"

No. It was an accident. And even if no one else is going to miss that puppy, I am.

I've been here for THREE DAYS, for Pete's sake. What on earth is going to happen during the next 27??? I guess I should be grateful that people here are so forgiving of such an accident prone individual.

I'm sorry, Puppy. May you rest in peace.

Day 3 - Toads, Puppies, and Goats

6.15.09

I have to be honest and say that I wasn't looking forward to Monday. It was my first day back to work after almost a full work week off. I'm happy to report that it went better than I could have imagined. I love having Chris around during the day; Brayden is well cared for and entertained.

About half way through my work day Chris came downstairs and said that Brayden just played with goats for the first time and then they found a toad! I had to laugh...this place is absolute heaven for a little boy...and his daddy.

That evening I ran some trash out to the dumpster and was followed home by a puppy and two goats. I had to laugh...and pet the goats.

Day 2 - RELAXATION

6.14.09

Beautiful Sunday! Rob and Jaci's place is so peaceful. We spent the day pretty much just recovering from the two full days of driving. It was so nice to be with my guys and relax. The 2 weeks up until the move were insane. It's kind of a crazy feeling to go from that extreme to this extreme of just ... peace. I didn't say I'm not enjoying it. :)

Rob, Jaci, and the kids got home from their race in Fargo that evening and we decided to head over to the pow wow for a few minutes (mostly because Rob wanted an Indian Taco...yumm!). It was SO COOL to watch the dancers and experience some of the culture here. Brayden was mesmorized by the pretty girls dancing.

Day 1 - Arrival

6.13.09

I can't even explain how nice it was to roll in front of Rob and Jaci's house and turn off the car! We somehow turned a 17 hour drive into a 22 hour drive...but when I say somehow it's not because I don't know how it happened; we now know how to properly load a U-Haul trailer: Heaviest stuff in the front. Haha! Poor Chris was on the verge of cardiac arrest the whole trip. I was the lucky one following behind him at no higher than 65 mph.

Brayden was a trooper through the drive. He's such a good little guy. I loved looking in the rear view mirror and seeing that sweet face.

Driving through the state I started getting SO excited to live here! I love the huge sky and the openness out here. I feel like Annie..."I think I'm gonna like it here!"

My North Dakota Days

I've decided that I'm going to do at least one post per day during this first month or so here in North Dakota. I'll confess that it's mostly for me to look back on and remember but I'll try to make them as entertaining as possible. A close friend requested detailed descriptions of my experience here (Jeni!) so here goes!

Tears and Trail Mix

The time has come...
My emotions have been run through the ringer
After a long drive, filled with tears and trail mix
we are here!

I can't believe I'm actually writing this post! Everything feels so surreal. Part of me feels like I'm just on vacation; another part of me remembers the life we just left as if it were just a dream. As you can imagine this leaves me pretty stinking confused! Haha. I'm sure it won't be the last time.

These past two weeks getting ready for our move have been a whirlwind and I'm so happy to be done (well, for now). I'm exhausted! I'd post details about our preparations but I have no desire to revisit them any time soon. The important thing is that the preparations were made and we made it here, safe and sound.

I'm blogging right now from Two Bears Ranch, where we're staying with my brother and sister-in-law and their family for a month while we find a place to call home. Brayden is in HEAVEN here! Lots of open space to run, lots of animals to look at...and I'm sure play with, eventually...and he adores his cousins, especially Kade (6 yrs old). He has been following him around like a little shadow and giving lots of hugs and kisses. I'll be sure to post photos soon.

Thank you to everyone who helped us get ready for the move. I can't begin to describe how much I'm going to miss my friends and family. I had a lot of time to think about them while I was driving. I am so blessed to have such incredible people in my life. I'll be posting very soon about our new adventures here in beautiful North Dakota!