Applesauce

Brayden's favorite word these days is "applesauce." He replaces other words with it at unexpected times, and just thinks it's the most hilarious thing ever. My favorite is at night time when we sing his bedtime song (Families Can Be Together Forever -- or the "family song", as he calls it). He sings, "The Lord ... has shown me how I APPLESAUCE."

I love being Brayden's mom.

A New Guardian Angel

The world lost an amazing woman this week.
My sweet grandmother
left this life the morning of Saturday, October 3.

My heart is full of gratitude for the goodness she brought to my life and to the lives of each person she knew.

We had a close relationship. As my mother's mother, she was the strongest connection I had to her memory. She was always so open about sharing what my mother would wish in certain situations and was great at keeping her memory alive for me and my brothers and sister.

Grandma didn't sweat the "small stuff"... she celebrated it. She had the ability to find joy in anything - no matter how simple. My mind is filled with memories of days at the park singing on the swings; walks to the hill she would watch us roll down and run back up over and over again; so many Sunday dinners she put so much energy into; phone calls asking what the cutest thing was that Brayden did that day...

When I was a little girl (and I remember this conversation vividly) we made a pact that any time we saw a sunrise or sunset we would think of each other. From that pact until as recent as a few weeks ago, she would end each letter or conversation with "remember the sunrises and sunsets!" This will always be something very special to me, and every time I look at this big North Dakota sky I think of her.

I hope to one day have the purity of heart and the Christlike love for the people around me that Grandma had. She was a true lady ... always concerned with the well-being of others, always thinking of ways to make others happy. I will make an effort to be better at this - in her honor.

For years since the passing of my beautiful Mother I have been lucky to have a personal Guardian Angel watching over me ... Now I have one more.

Tears and Trail Mix

The time has come...
My emotions have been run through the ringer
After a long drive, filled with tears and trail mix
we are here!

I can't believe I'm actually writing this post! Everything feels so surreal. Part of me feels like I'm just on vacation; another part of me remembers the life we just left as if it were just a dream. As you can imagine this leaves me pretty stinking confused! Haha. I'm sure it won't be the last time.

These past two weeks getting ready for our move have been a whirlwind and I'm so happy to be done (well, for now). I'm exhausted! I'd post details about our preparations but I have no desire to revisit them any time soon. The important thing is that the preparations were made and we made it here, safe and sound.

I'm blogging right now from Two Bears Ranch, where we're staying with my brother and sister-in-law and their family for a month while we find a place to call home. Brayden is in HEAVEN here! Lots of open space to run, lots of animals to look at...and I'm sure play with, eventually...and he adores his cousins, especially Kade (6 yrs old). He has been following him around like a little shadow and giving lots of hugs and kisses. I'll be sure to post photos soon.

Thank you to everyone who helped us get ready for the move. I can't begin to describe how much I'm going to miss my friends and family. I had a lot of time to think about them while I was driving. I am so blessed to have such incredible people in my life. I'll be posting very soon about our new adventures here in beautiful North Dakota!

Giving Thanks

I'm pretty in touch with my emotions today, and I think it's appropriate to take a minute and express thanks for some of the many, many blessings in my life. Please forgive my indulgence.

As I sat at the kitchen table this morning and listened to Brayden "talking" back and forth with Chris down the hall, tears swelled up in my eyes. I love both of those guys more than anything and I am so grateful to have them in my life. They are my life. I thank my Heavenly Father every day for guiding me to such an amazing, strong, spiritual, smart, dedicated, driven, patient and kind man that I get to be with for eternity. I could have never imagined, or asked for, a better "fit." Chris, if you're reading this I know you're thinking this is so cheesy but I mean it. And I adore you.

Next comes sweet, spunky, loveable Brayden. There is just something about him that just melts my heart. He's growing so fast and seems to learn something new every day. I am overwhelmed with gratitude to be called his mother. It is humbling (and sobering) to think that such a sweet and noble spirit will rely on me to help teach him. Watching him has made me thankful for the simple little things in life.

I'm grateful for family. For my Angel Mother whose presence I felt even just this morning as I was rolling out pastry dough (and who I'm sure got a kick out of my frustration when it stuck to the counter). I miss her more than words can express but I'm grateful for the knowledge that she's permitted to be with me once in a while and for the fact that, if I live worthily, I will get to see her again and we'll make up for these years apart. She and Chris will get along famously. They've got the same sick sense of humor ;).

I'm thankful for my dad. He's been through so much in his life...so many trials...yet still has a positive outlook on life. I'm thankful for his wisdom and his strength. I'm thankful for his Christlike example. I'm thankful also for Annette, for the many sacrifices she has made in becoming an "instant mom." I shudder at the thought of how we may have turned out, growing up without a feminine influence in our home.

I'm thankful for my brothers and sisters. I'm especially thankful for the closeness Dana and I share and for the fun we have together. She's the only person I know who is as certifiably insane as I am, so it makes me feel good to be around her. Haha. We're definitely cut from the same cloth. I'm thankful for my brothers' wives and the way they both make them even better than they were when they found them. It means a lot to me to see them both so happy. That goes for Scott, too.

I am so blessed to have such wonderful in-laws who have stepped in and helped fill gaps I very much needed filled. I get along so well with my mother-in-law and I know our relationship will continue to grow and be something very special in my life. I am eternally grateful for doing such a great job at helping Chris become the incredible person he is.

I'm thankful for the amazing examples I have all around me. I see friends, and people in my neighborhood and at church who seem to just have infinite ability to give. They have such incredible talents and they constantly use them to serve others. I am surrounded by so many amazing hearts.

Last but certainly not least I am eternally grateful for the birth, life, and Atonement of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Only through his sacrifice and resurrection am I given the opportunity to live with my Father and Mother in Heaven one day, and to be with my family for eternity. What an incredible gift. I love him with all of my heart and I pray that I can show my gratitude for Him and for all of my other blessings through my actions, and the way I treat others. I hope everyone has a very happy Thanksgiving, and I wish you a very happy holiday season!